From Relationship Addict to Self-Love Guru: My Journey Through Emotional Awakening

You've likely heard the saying, "As within, so without" a wisdom nugget that's become something of a life barometer for me. And let me tell you, it's been eerily accurate, especially when I examine the transformative year I've had in my own romantic relationships.

From the age of 15, I was what you'd call a serial relationship seeker. Honestly, I jumped from one committed relationship to another faster than you could say “breakup." Yes, I was that woman, unable to embrace solitude or cultivate an identity separate from whoever I was dating at the time.

In my mind, I was destined to be the woman behind the man—the dutiful companion catering to every need, from gourmet dinners to bedroom satisfaction. All while burying my emotional turmoil so deep, I thought no one could possibly detect it.

But let's be real: this façade never lasted. At the slightest indication that my emotional safety was in jeopardy, I'd snap. I was a tempest in a teacup, oscillating between door-slamming and downright meltdowns. It was as if a screaming child was trapped inside this adult body of mine, yearning for a loving embrace and the promise of eternal companionship.

I was emotionally malnourished and starved for a type of love that I couldn't provide for myself. Until I understood that inner change was the key to external transformation, I was caught in a vicious cycle that I couldn't escape.

But things began to shift. I embarked on a year-long emotional journey that involved counseling, self-reflection, and a lot of uncomfortable but necessary emotional work. I started to explore self-love and emotional intelligence, realizing that if I couldn't be whole on my own, no relationship could ever complete me.

So, if you're stuck in a cycle of dependent relationships, there's a way out. It's a gritty road, but I assure you it's worth it. Self-love isn't just a buzzword; it's a foundational aspect of a fulfilling life.

Curious about how to break the cycle and embark on your own journey toward emotional independence and fulfillment? Click here to explore my Transformational Coaching services tailored to nurturing self-love and emotional well-being.

Share your stories or ask questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you.

You see, I was caught in a perpetual cycle that repeated itself time and time again. Looking for a father figure in my partner, someone who would look after and protect me, who wouldn’t abandon me like my own parents did. I expected…no I commanded (on a subconscious level) that they parent the hurt little child that lived inside of me. Every single one of them fell short, and I would be so hurt, my trust lost… and off I would go in search of someone who could fulfill this role, and if I wasn’t doing that, I was numbing my pain with drugs and alcohol.

I came to realize, after a 3 year long break up (that’s a story for another time) and a lot of ‘soul searching’, what an extremely heavy burden I was placing on someone else. One they would never live up to. I not only expected a parent, I wanted them to heal me. I wanted them to make me happy because I was so deeply unhappy within myself.

It wasn’t until I made the decision to courageously face this demon that had been plaguing my relationships, that I discovered it wasn’t a demon at all. It was a hurt little 3-year-old girl, waiting to be seen, waiting to be heard…. by me.

It was only then that I was able to make some major shifts. I started to focus on healing myself, making me happy, having fun, because I had forgotten how to. I looked for opportunities where I could sit with that hurt little girl and parent her like she deserved, because I was the only one that would ever really understand her needs, her fears, what lurked in the darkness when she was by herself.

I can tell you that my current relationship has transformed exponentially as a result. I am a different person, relating to my partner in a different way. When I was able to really love and care for myself, then I was able to really do that for someone else without the conditions. I was able to free myself from the bondage of old behavioural patterns. I was able to become the women I was born to be. Unapologetically and lovingly me.