The Transformative Power of 'What Is': How Mindfulness Turned My Heartbreak Into a Life Lesson
Unlocking a New Perspective in the Midst of Emotional Turmoil
Last September, my return from a year-long New Zealand adventure with our 10-month-old baby was met with a crushing reality: a sudden breakup. The emotional toll was unbearable, and for weeks, I found solace in my grief, enveloped in a narrative that cast my partner as the villain and me as the innocent victim.
But everything changed the day I stumbled upon a single, revelatory paragraph in Sydney Banks' groundbreaking book, 'Beyond Beliefs: The Lost Teaching of Sydney Banks.'
The Paragraph That Changed It All
The words were simple, yet profound: "What-isn't is what the mind sees of what-is. What-is is life in perfect motion." Though cryptic at first, these lines soon resonated deep within my soul. I had an epiphany: my suffering was not an outcome of the situation itself but rather the stories my mind had crafted around it.
The Duality of Perception and Reality
Instead of confronting the unembellished fact—my partner wanted to be single—I had sculpted a complex narrative that positioned me at the center, transforming the situation into an emotionally fraught ordeal. I was subconsciously using my fears, insecurities, and past experiences to color the present, blurring the line between what was factual and what was fictional.
The Healing Process: From Resistance to Acceptance
Over the following days, this newfound perspective became a gentle filter for my thoughts and emotions. Each moment of anger or sorrow now became an opportunity for introspection, guiding me closer to a peaceful acceptance of the 'what-is'—the unchangeable, unfaltering reality of the present moment.
A Lesson in Relationship Dynamics
This experience was not merely about surviving a breakup but about confronting my deep-seated issues surrounding relationships, from my fear of abandonment to my complex emotional boundaries. By acknowledging 'what-is', I found a newfound sense of peace and empowerment, shifting my focus away from blaming my ex-partner and embracing the complex, beautiful tapestry of life that was unfolding before me.
The Liberation of Letting Go
“What isn't is what the mind sees—what is, is life in perfect motion.” This insight shed light on how my thoughts had shaped not just this experience but how they could shape any situation. I was, and am, in control of my perspective, and that control has the power to transform suffering into growth, loss into opportunity, and confusion into clarity.
How Will You Embrace Your 'What-Is'?
If you're going through a difficult time, consider asking yourself, what stories is your mind crafting? What alternative narratives could exist? How can accepting 'what-is' liberate you from self-inflicted suffering?
Ready for a transformational journey towards mindfulness and emotional intelligence? Click here to book your free connection call and explore how embracing your 'what-is' can be a game-changer in your life.
Share your thoughts, experiences, or questions below. How has your perspective on 'what-is' and 'what-isn't' changed your life?
